Mama Told Me

“Are you okay?” 

Got to be the most frustrating single sentence in the English language. I mean I’ve been asked it by like twenty people over the course of a week, and my response is the same…..uh yeah I’m good. 

Refresh

Like even if I wasn’t good would I wanna tell you? Hell no. Contradicting myself ain’t exactly answering the question though either. Nah no questions asked. I ain’t dropping any friends and sorry if you misinterpreted that writing bro. Pretty shitty of me, prolly just what I felt in that moment cause been kinda a rough couple months for me, and I’d rather just leave it be. I don’t hate you, I don’t think you’re an Ass. I just like doing shit alone. We’re cool bro sorry for being a high school girl for the past month. I owe ur lil one an apology too, cause man I’ve been a dick to that kid for a minute. I apologize to both of y’all. We coo lil chodes we coo. U hate me I get it but just know I don’t have any bad feelings for ya. If ya down I’m always down bro I have ur back, and I know you’ve got mine. It’s alright you got a small one too cause I mean one of us has to sacrifice having a big one lol…nah I’m just playin. Love ya Grape.

Clean Slate

I ain’t really a religious fella even though my whole life I been the kinda guy to lead that Typa shit. I’ve been in a leadership position my entire life in an organization I don’t even fully understand or fully believe in. I got faith that some of it’s true but some of that other stuff I’m like we do that? Why tf is this something we do? I mean I see it brings a lot of joy to some people so I kinda just feel like eventually trotting along will have some reason to keep with it. My whole life though I can say this…if I see other people find joy in something I do it for them to see them feel joy, idk if that makes sense but honestly feel like I do this shit for others not really for me. I don’t know if that makes sense but doesn’t need to make sense. I ain’t expecting some grand scene, or God to appear to me, but also ain’t necessarily expecting to have a foot up my ass so I’m high and tight like half the kids in Provo. My parents are a great example to me in most areas in my life, but I sure as hell don’t want a marriage like theirs. Ya it works for them, but I sure ash couldn’t see myself in a dynamic like that. I’ve always kinda found funny that I’ve been in leadership roles cause like not once have I ever thought I wasn’t gonna get tattoos, or drink a couple when I turn 21. I ain’t the best example you know? Could list a lotta shit but doesn’t matter really. I do think there are things I will never do. 

Belief

Clubs are dumb asf and I ain’t one to party. Seen people get knocked up and now got a kid that their partner ain’t in the picture. Go figure that shits just dumb. Ms. Give it up easy lol, how’s herpes treating ya? Drugs are also dumb ash, and I sure ash ain’t marrying someone who’s been around town. Although there’s that shit..I also ain’t going my whole life not knowing what a beer or a tattoo feels like. That molimormon shit ain’t me. Honestly most of the Mormon stuff ain’t me, I just think a lotta religion is kinda got some weird stuff when you look into it enough. The Bible’s been rewritten hundreds of times, The Quran was an epistle built upon the foundation of war, murder, and rape, the Torah was built upon wicked priests and a corrupt nation, Tao Te Ching was written during a time when a government was being overrun, and The Book of Mormon was translated by a man with no education. I mean atheism kinda sounds stupid cause believing in nothing literally means believing in something, but also I mean I get where you come from if you look at the start of all these religions. I mean I was raised upon a book written by a kid who had a vision at 14. Sounds kinda crazy right? I mean honestly I have never known any of it to be true I’ve just believed and kinda hope that eventually something great will confirm and change my mind to knowledge. We’ll see tho, I don’t know there’s a lotta people I’ve met who ain’t of my faith and listening to them helps me know maybe there’s more to than just what I believe. 

Shit

I mean everyone goes through it just pile through it. And keep telling yourself…”Mama ain’t raise no bitch” you’ll be just fine. Mama Told me they’d take me anywhere! Hell yeah Missouri, France, and New York here I come. 

…Oh and btw grape, if you think we’re still cool hmu and I’ll be down for anything. I’ll respond, I just ain’t texting first cause I don’t know if u hate me.