I Think I'm Going Numb

20 weeks arm break been kinda painful
Nothing but a lot of time to be sinful
Daily habits removing devils and angels.
Time to get back at it day one with a pencil

Life changes one day a high found in some pills.
Next week the new high is an angel.
Soon after nothing matters just you and a table.
Writing lyrics, thinking the holy spirit will save you.

Pay attention first lesson, never addressing with the past whom you choose.
Every step in a new direction makes you dream if it came true.
Living high off of drives down roads you were used too.
Yet new tires, new ride, makes life seem like it were full proof.

I remember in August thinking I would hike once a week, some new mountain, or canyon.
I started of great, mistakes take place, but overcame every break.
I went 3 months straight, no missed gym days, or weekly hikes in a place priorly relayed.
Yet to this day I still can't say I regret missing that one that was planned on my father's birthday.

First week of school was starting, and a new group of kids I had to drive home from too much partying. 
I can say I was surprised with life, seemed like everything was falling into place just right.
Suddenly something I have engrained behind my eyes, I realized that maybe I was a deer in headlights.
Not wanting to sleep in the night, and wanting to feel more alive. Good thing I hit sure just in time. 

Yet maybe this was a dream you know those ones that go in and out in a flash. Make you question your motives. The people in your past. The life that you have, and the life that you had. I come back to the conclusion I am happy I broke my old habits in two months alas. Now back to this track cause we may not want to get derailed on this track. Just a simple conversation over a device I will never full stack.

hahahaha stfu.

I was not who I was supposed to be.
I remember breaking apart the worst in me. 
Everyone saying your better than where you started.
Happy that those days happened cause if I'm being honest.

It didn't have to be this way
Yet still I can't say theres a regret in the last year to this day.
Maybe the fact I can't catch a ball will make me replay
Thousands of memories day by day.
And if that's the reality of all my pain.
Then Good God I have a lot I can say I gained.

I still the same kid as yesterday, without old habits in the way,
The same kid with dreams since sixth grade.
Flying over mountains, and dreaming of hiking each one someday.
Yet the mountain climbed all this way, happened to be the one I'm proudest I have made.

Yo...
Yo....
Jacob....
Jacobbbbbb........
Wake up....
Wake up....
....what is it?
Damn bro you were out for a while. you good?....
....Better than ever brotha!
Good cause it's 4 am, and you got a mountain to climb.....
....Fuck another one seriously?
Yeah...This ones going to take five months too.....
....You have got to be kidding me.
.....Well back to it I guess.
Good thing though is you can drive down any mountain you want when your done......
....Old Ford pickup?
Old Ford pickup alright....
....Oh these five months are so going to be worth it then.
Have fun kid....
...One last thing
Yeah what is it?....
....Clock Savages was one hell of a dream.
Huh?....
....It'll make sense in ten years
.....Maybe sooner.
Wake up brotha, I think you're going Numb.....

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